A loved one dying to motivate the superhero is a pretty lame and lazy trope, and it makes the character who dies just a plot device. That’s what Uncle Ben is: a plot device. On top of that, Uncle Ben himself is lame. At least with a love interest dying, it makes sense to want to avenge them and become a superhero to honor that person. If my friend, best friend, or uncle were to be murdered and I had superpowers, I wouldn’t lift a finger to try to find the killer. That goes for a lot of superheroes. Even in a new superhero comic called Radiant Black, Radiant Black becomes Radiant Black because his male best friend dies. WHO GIVES A FUCK? I’m sorry—your best friend dying or getting murdered is not enough justification to become a superhero.
This is a terrible analogy, because it insanely understates the importance of someone like uncle Ben, but think of him like one of your legs.
You’ve never known life without your legs. No matter what, you have always been able to count on the fact that tomorrow you will be able to walk. Sure, some days your legs hurt, and they clearly don’t want to do any walking, but they will if you need them to. Now imagine that you did something stupid that resulted in you completely shattering all the bones in one of your legs. The only option is to amputate that leg. You wake up after the surgery, missing a leg. Suddenly, that leg that you’ve never known life without is not there. You want to get up to take a piss, but you can’t because you’re missing a leg. You want to go over to get a drink from the tap over there, but you can’t because you’re missing a leg. The remote for the TV in the room is over there, but you can’t get it because you’re missing a leg. Almost every aspect of your life changes after that one surgery, and you know this is all because of your own actions.
That gives a glimpse at how much Peter Parker’s life gets fucked up when Ben dies. Uncle Ben was one of the few constant things in Peter’s rocky life. Now he’s gone. All because Peter chose not to take action. I don’t blame Peter for wanting revenge, then taking the memory of Ben and using it as motivation to do better.
As I said, terrible analogy because a person is way more than a leg.