Reposted from here

This is an update to a previous post where I got invited to a birthday party. It went better than I could have ever imagined.

Here are the highlights before I give a longer blow by blow:

• The birthday boy R had a choice between inviting the whole class or a few friends. He chose to invite 3 friends and my kid E was one of them.
• R and E basically never left each other’s side the entire party.
• We went and hung out at R’s house for a few hours after the party.
• Sadly R will not be attending the same school as E next year, but I did get R’s mom’s number, so they’ll definitely keep in touch.

R’s mother was late to the party and E was having a slow build up to a meltdown over the idea that she wouldn’t get to see R that day. None of my normal de-escalation techniques helped at all. Luckily R appeared before we hit critical mass. When they say each other, they shouted each other’s names and ran to give each other a hug.

What was shocking to me and R’s mother was really how close they were. Although we had been told by the teacher separately that they were extremely close, neither of us knew who the other kid was or the parent lol. But R and E were so close. they hugged and then held hands and talked. They’d hold hands every moment they weren’t actively playing and actively keep track of each other in the trampoline park. One particularly adorable thing to me was how they’d climb obstacle courses together and then link arms going down.

One moment I think back on in awe is the first conversation they had that day. They immediately showed off their shoes to each other. R had switched out his croc jewelry for a set of robots. E showed off her new light up Paw Patrol sandals.

Guys, E’s special interest is planes, trains, automobiles and all things mechanical. R’s absolute favorite shoe is Paw Patrol. I had a lightning strike moment about why she was so insistent on getting those sandals when we were in Target when she never cared about Paw Patrol before.

So many things happened at the party. It was a happy party where E got on with the whole group and they seemed to genuinely enjoy her. What is interesting to me is that her classmates are so accepting of when she’s just done socially. E has a socialization limit and at that point she’s just done and disengages from everything. About when she hit that I saw R and all the other kids give her space and accept that she wasn’t gonna play with them much anymore. Something that also amazed me is how dedicated that E was in making R’s party a happy one despite that. She was genuinely upset she missed the cake cutting because no one could find her. She cheered R on when he opened gifts (which he was not supposed to do, but apparently he wanted to show everyone the cool stuff he got lol). She displayed an unusable amount of grace in thanking R and his mom for the party favors.

I did get a chuckle when the party ended and I asked if she wanted to go to the pool. She said know. I explained that it would be at R’s house and then she immediately changed her answer lol. R’s mom had invited us to come over after everyone exchanged numbers. E was friends with all the kids there, but of course R was her favorite and the feeling definitely seemed mutual.

R was so hype for E to come over. He showed her his room and they had some kind of conversation, but I decided to let him have some privacy. We didn’t leave until 8pm. It was a long, long day.

When we left it was very dramatic. R declared that he loved E. E burst into tears. I had to drag E out of the door. R declared that he was coming over to our house next time. Me and R’s mom agreed that although I realized I had left some of E’s stuff at her house, it was best if I collected them later. R had put on a brave face and apparently he had cried too the moment the door closed.

Please keep in mind that this is a group of 4 year olds lol. It’s been an exhausting day, but I wanted you guys to know about it. I didn’t type of so many sugary sweet moments between E and R and the other kids in attendance. It really warmed my heart to see that she doesn’t have just a single friend, but she has a friend group. All of the kids seemed so accepting of her quirks. I’d been debating on whether or not to pull E out of this montessori school she’s in and put her into public school, but I think the decision is kind of made for me. She’s really thriving there.