I’m AuDHD but didn’t know the Autism element till this year at 31. For 20 years approximately until I was 25 ish I took adderall. Diagnosed with ADHD young and took it mostly for inattention it did several things to me. First thing is it turned me into a productivity machine. Yes it works great. Second thing is it kept me thin, that’s a plus. Now on to the drawbacks. Third thing is it made me a very angry and reactive person, especially as a child. This is a well known side effect, but if you take it as a kid I’m afraid at least for me it became my personality. Also extra productivity, especially for someone with existing social problems like Autism, made productivity what defined me. Up until 25 and even now, I feel defined by my work more than my relationships. Anger issues almost had me get in trouble in my masters, and productivity focus caused me to totally burnt out. I became suicidal feeling that the only worth I had and the only thing my life would be is the 9-5 grind. Then it hit me: anxiety. Panic attacks I had only experienced a few times in my life became a daily occurrence. I quit adderall. Now I have enough internal motivation to do my job because it overlaps with my hyperfocus, so I’m lucky in that regard, and it took YEARS to regain skills I leaned on with my adderall, and I’m no where near as productive, and I now have MASSIVE anxiety I never had before, but I think the worst is behind me. I think adderall use over 20 years caused or elevated my anxiety disorder, because its not something I consider part of my base personality, I think it created the conditions in my personality that led to burnout and depression, but I also think it got me my current job. I also think if you don’t work out while you’re on it, you will develop heart trouble, and if you don’t sleep you are increasing your risk of a thousand neurological disorders.
My advice is to just be careful. It’s a blessing and a curse. I would not prescribe it to anyone under 18. All the pressure we feel under 18 is made up by society. Be an annoying, hyper, inattentive kid.
Have you tried Atomoxetine? I’m not diagnosed with autism (but ADHD), but I score a little bit too high on all the autism tests I took (and after watching a few videos of AuDHDers, it just makes sense).
For me stimulants are a slippery slope, I can be in a constant hyperfocus without being distracted by stuff (which can be super great when programming), but I forget e.g. eating (certainly way more than with Atomoxetine), my emotions are dampened, more hypersensitive to sounds I don’t like, I’m less social, more autistic I’d say (also maybe because ADHD and autism kinda work against each other AFAIK).
Atomoxetine is quite different for me, way better for executive functioning (less so for focus unfortunately), and (social) anxiety is definitely better (good explanation from the ADHD scientist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnS0PfNyj4U). I’m now varying stimulants depending on what I’m doing on the day (e.g. more if I almost only want to program that day, and if I have much social contact, I’m ditching it).
Let me share my story.
I’m AuDHD but didn’t know the Autism element till this year at 31. For 20 years approximately until I was 25 ish I took adderall. Diagnosed with ADHD young and took it mostly for inattention it did several things to me. First thing is it turned me into a productivity machine. Yes it works great. Second thing is it kept me thin, that’s a plus. Now on to the drawbacks. Third thing is it made me a very angry and reactive person, especially as a child. This is a well known side effect, but if you take it as a kid I’m afraid at least for me it became my personality. Also extra productivity, especially for someone with existing social problems like Autism, made productivity what defined me. Up until 25 and even now, I feel defined by my work more than my relationships. Anger issues almost had me get in trouble in my masters, and productivity focus caused me to totally burnt out. I became suicidal feeling that the only worth I had and the only thing my life would be is the 9-5 grind. Then it hit me: anxiety. Panic attacks I had only experienced a few times in my life became a daily occurrence. I quit adderall. Now I have enough internal motivation to do my job because it overlaps with my hyperfocus, so I’m lucky in that regard, and it took YEARS to regain skills I leaned on with my adderall, and I’m no where near as productive, and I now have MASSIVE anxiety I never had before, but I think the worst is behind me. I think adderall use over 20 years caused or elevated my anxiety disorder, because its not something I consider part of my base personality, I think it created the conditions in my personality that led to burnout and depression, but I also think it got me my current job. I also think if you don’t work out while you’re on it, you will develop heart trouble, and if you don’t sleep you are increasing your risk of a thousand neurological disorders.
My advice is to just be careful. It’s a blessing and a curse. I would not prescribe it to anyone under 18. All the pressure we feel under 18 is made up by society. Be an annoying, hyper, inattentive kid.
Have you tried Atomoxetine? I’m not diagnosed with autism (but ADHD), but I score a little bit too high on all the autism tests I took (and after watching a few videos of AuDHDers, it just makes sense).
For me stimulants are a slippery slope, I can be in a constant hyperfocus without being distracted by stuff (which can be super great when programming), but I forget e.g. eating (certainly way more than with Atomoxetine), my emotions are dampened, more hypersensitive to sounds I don’t like, I’m less social, more autistic I’d say (also maybe because ADHD and autism kinda work against each other AFAIK).
Atomoxetine is quite different for me, way better for executive functioning (less so for focus unfortunately), and (social) anxiety is definitely better (good explanation from the ADHD scientist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnS0PfNyj4U). I’m now varying stimulants depending on what I’m doing on the day (e.g. more if I almost only want to program that day, and if I have much social contact, I’m ditching it).
Tbh I think I’m just done treating ADHD with meds. I’m in a place where I can survive thankfully