I’ve been using Technitium for about 3 years and I’m with you.
Whenever I think I get it, I search for the solution to a problem I’m having and see the developer respond and feel like I get less than half the things in the explanation. My setup definitely works and it has never failed me… but there are a lot of things where I don’t understand why at all and yeah I am also using maybe 10% of the options available. I’m not sure I’ll ever get past the intimidating phase.
Exercise, have a salad for dinner sometimes, be careful who you date and keep friends you can trust to tell you when you’re fucking up.
Meaning can be found in pain and we all face that.