I like Grim Fandango

Flams

Air travel is considered to be among the safest methods of travel.

…but thats only because historically we only let experts operate those vehicles. You thought it was bad to drink and drive? Wait until uncle Randy has 250 hours logged to get a liscense, and he drinks and flies!

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. Ferris Bueller

Huh…I’m trying to think of what legal defense you could give to PROVE you didn’t want to be set on fire.

I can’t think of one. What do you say that proves it? Which means I get how that headline happened, but also…how did THAT headline happen???

Pretend? Hmmmm. I guess we should pretend. If Epstein were still around with a 14 year old girl, we wouldn’t be pretending.

But I’d rather just pretend that he isn’t wearing pants.

Oooh! Oooh! I know this one!

Tomb Raider!

He didn’t suggest that it was safer. Just large usercount, and long running status.

Well I guess the public shooting of him was just the cost of gun ownership in this country. Don’t worry. He doesn’t want you to feel bad for him. Remember, he’s AGAINST empathy! So you should honor his wishes, and not feel any empathy at all for him.

I would continue to use his own words against him, but firstly, I don’t know anything else about him. Not that I’m complaining. Seems to me everything about him just pisses me off. So for my own mental health, I’m ok being ignorant about this guy.

But secondly, I’m so far behind the game on this, that I fear any cynical jokes I make at his expense might be new to me, but for everybody else I’d be going through the old reruns of obvious jokes. With me being the only one who hadn’t heard them before.

So instead, maybe we all set up a nationwide activity. We all go pee on his grave. C’mon! It’ll be like hands across America. Except instead of raising money for AIDS research during it’s infancy, we’ll instead be whipping out our cocks, and pissing on this assholes grave. And ladies, I didn’t forget about you. I’ll be selling funnels with tubes duct taped to them. So you don’t have to miss out on the piss fest!

“Are you ready for science fiction? Well. I have this robot in the story…and he can talk! He can do basic calculations, AND speak the answers!!! ISN’T THAT WILD???”

producer pulls out iPhone

“Hey Siri, whats 4,684,854,853 divided by 7?”

“669,264,979”

And this joke exchange would have been more impressive if everyone hadn’t known that I’m on a cell phone, with a built in calculator.

Seriously, any cell phone today would have been called INSANE in the 1970s.

I mean think about it. In the late 1960s Maxwell Smart talked into a shoe phone. And it was considered crazy high tech. So much so that as a kid in the late 80s, it was STILL crazy high tech to just have a phone. Just out and about.

I’m now old enough to know that technically cell phones existed at that time. But the fact that I was unaware they existed should serve as a stark contrast between cell phones in 1988 vs 2025. Ask any 5 year old today what a cell phone is, and they’ll know. Now have them watch the original Get Smart series, and watch them get confused by why he has a cell phone inside his shoe. I would bet they wouldn’t be as excited as I was when I saw how cool the shoe phone was. Today, it would be weird.

To be fair though, the opening sequence with the doors, IS still cool as fuck.

I can vouch for that.

Well thats the thing. Nobody in the history of court has plead innocent. Thats not a thing. You can plead guilty, no contest, or not guilty.

And “not guilty” isn’t the same as “innocent”

I’m still not fully sure who he was. 3 days ago, I’d never heard the name.

Now suddenly the GOP are treating this as some holy figure bound to create conspiracy theories. Which will be parroted on Fox News, which means by 2pm, parroted by Trump himself.

…and other than being a GOP podcaster, I still have no idea who he was.

Look at society over the past 100 years. At what point have we been considered NOT a massive dumpster fire?

Now look at squirrels. Squirrels societies aren’t in shambles. They got nuts, they run on trees, they’re happy. The squirrels are happy.

I’m not happy. I don’t know anyone who’s happy. Everyone I know is able to relate to depression memes. Why? Because everyone is depressed. Why? Because society be design is set up with the intended goal for you to be unhappy and easy to manipulate.

We’re approaching the new dawn, where people being nothing more than pay pigs for the rich is coming to a close. Which means, soon they won’t need us…at all.

When that happens, it will be a slow gradual shift. But the shift will be to shove more people into poverty, less access to medical services, or government medical assistence. In short, they expect you to die.

Oh it’s not just one country.

We live in the dumbest timeline.

I will donate a jar of piss. I’ll piss in a jar. And then figure out a way to transport that.

What happens with that, and Kirks grave, is beyond what I can control. Do with it as you will.

Is that all it costs to buy a person???

I mean, I’m still appauled it happened. I’m just also shocked it’s so cheap.

a pedophile carved into Mt Rushmore.

Wait, I know trump was SAYING he was going to put his face on…but I never heard news that he DID it!

…I’m not sure I do. I got distracted thinking about what kind of pool bet they had.

I don’t get it…it’s a streaming service that only shows pretaped fake shows, but airs them as if it were live tv?