Now they can get back to murdering journalists with impunity.

Time to translate those surrender instruction leaflets to Korean. Maybe go ahead and plan to build a large camp for malnourished people.

US, Egypt, Qatar, and every sane nation: Let’s end this war now.

Hamas: We’ll give Israel everything they want if they will end the war.

Israel: Fuck you. Give us everything we want, and we’ll still kill you all.

US and Israel: We’re not sure why Hamas is being so unreasonable, but it looks like no ceasefire.

Given Russia’s performance in Ukraine, Iran firing 5% of its total stockpile at Israel and having almost nothing get through modern American air defense, and China’s own review of military readiness that showed glaring flaws and corruption, any plans China may have had to invade Taiwan should be postponed indefinitely.

Turning local elections in Taiwan in China’s favor in the long term seems like the more viable alternative for reunification.

The problem with peaceful protests is that they attract violent people who attack them. So, TPTB ban the peaceful protestors.

What happens if a select few of the peaceful protestors happened to be armed in places where doing so publicly is legal? The peaceful protestors are protected from violence by a select few exercising their second amendment right to bear arms. Pretty hard to ban those peaceful protestors.

They would have won even more championships if Shaq hadn’t insisted on eating non-halal meat during team meetings. You could cut the tension with a knife.

For real. No longer compatible with whatever bullshit Elon is pulling today.

“Not my big boat penis!” yelled the oligarch who got tens of thousands of Russians killed by siphoning gas and stealing tank parts to sell on the black market to buy said boat penis (probably).

This should not have happened. Google Cloud has identified the events that led to this disruption and taken measures to ensure this does not happen again.”

Our AI golem destroyed something important again, but we’re too big to fail so our mistakes don’t matter.

We promise it won’t happen again, but when it does happen again, it still won’t matter.

We’re a totally safe and responsible company and should be trusted with most of the world’s data management.

The intentionally-created famine and water shortage may be the worst war crime of all. There aren’t enough bombs to kill everyone, but starvation and thirst will.

Human beings should not be treated this way. At least allow humanitarian aide in for innocent civilians. Children.

You see, our stock price goes up when we buy other companies and it goes up when we fire people. We’re doing both at the same time, so our stock price will go up double. This is a sustainable business model and not at all a very dead canary in a very deadly coal mine.

Finally some good news on the climate. Our ability to fuck the Earth will mostly go away when our civilization collapses. We might even get a second Genghis Khan cooling when everyone dies.

Lemmings welcoming another Rexxitor, circa June 2023.

There is no ceiling. It might go up 6 or 7C. The people who have the power to change things do not give a shit if the rest of us die. They don’t care, and they won’t change anything. That’s the world we live in.

When reached for comment, Zuckerberg told reporters, “Don’t waste my time with this shit. It’s not even in the top 10 of evil shit I did in the last hour.”

The billionaires make and sell weapons. They win no matter what.

Have all the oligarchs dump their western real estate and crash the housing market?

Please…

Netanyahu has been adamant about going after Iran’s nuclear capability for over a decade. It wouldn’t surprise me if this drone attack was to probe the air defenses around those facilities.

While Netanyahu would love to draw all of NATO into a giant Middle Eastern conflict, I think he knows that goal isn’t realistic. What he’s likely aiming to accomplish is to destroy as much of Iran’s nuclear program as possible. That’s been his goal for over a decade.

Russia is not stopping with Ukraine. They’re setting up a long-term war economy. If Ukraine falls, they’ll celebrate their victory, then move on to the next target.