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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • Wow, his view of what makes someone your child is the absolute opposite of what I believe. Any child I raise is “my child”. Anyone who considers me their mom is “my child”, no matter who their biological parents are.

    And, thankfully I’ve never been in a position to have to give one up for adoption but if so, I would say the parents who raised them are the parents, not me.

    I really don’t think he’s their dad. If he wants to be a mysterious benefactor who gives them money because their moms used his sperm, that’s not an awful thing to do, but saying they are his children is lunacy.

    I sure hope he doesn’t have any stepchildren, as presumably they’d be left out of this largesse.




  • 3/4 of mine were born at home, but with midwife, 5 minutes from a hospital, and she won’t attend if you don’t agree to be transferred if necessary. Hospital birth when my kids were born really was over medicalized - the hospital by me had a C-section rate of over 50%, literally worse than a coin flip, they had you lay on your back, still, with monitors, it was designed to fail.

    I think now the hospitals have come around to some of the home birth ideas, if you are low risk you can walk around, give birth in a position that works for you, eat and drink for longer, better chance of natural uncomplicated birth that way.


  • Sure but you can’t have an endless increase in population. Whatever the problems of declining or stabilizing the population are, they need to be tackled, not ignored, yes. You can’t fix them by saying just keep the pyramid scheme going.

    The real problem is more like how many workers for each retired person. So there are other ways to fix that. Personally I’m down with working more years so that people don’t have to have kids if they don’t want to. I can’t imagine forcing people to have children.

    And you know what? Employers having to face a tight labor market doesn’t sound like it’s worse than employees having to find scarce jobs.



  • I think partly this is because flattening the hair at home is difficult and you don’t get great results. I actually put some effort into my natural hair (gel, scrunch, diffuse dry) to get it to look good curly, and the only other way it looks really good is professional blowout to bouncy straight not swingy straight.

    Or maybe it’s because wavy hair rocks! I do think curly and wavy, kinky, any hair with texture is livelier than the smooth and straight hair. Like, curly hair is individual and straight hair is standardized.


  • Honestly it just looks like before sex hair and after sex hair. Or someone with straight hair immediately after curling it vs. 5 minutes later. So if he cheats on the somewhat touseled hair person with the I Just Did My Hair person, he’ll just end up with a somewhat touseled hair person again. Maybe even if he goes to coffee with the picture #2, when she leaves she will have the hair in the first image.


  • My job is ok, but I swear every day I wake up glad I don’t have to go to school. At least work pays me, and the people I work with are great. But even when we were desperately poor I still liked it better than childhood. Even an illusion of choice (as hexesofvexes puts it) is preferable to the tight constraints of childhood. Even when I had nothing but what fit in my purse, no home, no money that felt better, sort of free; now with a house and family I feel like we have luxury, kids, dogs, cats, garden. Lifestyle. All of adulthood, even the sucky parts, feel like my life to live, childhood did not.


  • I will take being an adult with responsibility over being a child any day. All I remember is ennui and a trapped feeling. School sucked so bad, and no control over your own life. I want to know what sort of idyllic childhood the people who write this stuff had? I wasn’t abused or anything, it just sucks being a kid.







  • A wood stove would be incredible if I lived in a colder climate. Here it would just be too much heat, they are used to both cook and warm the house, right?

    But yeah. Throw another log on the fire. A couple of my friends moved to the countryside in Belize, and they built a big clay oven outside, but said because of the way it heated (so hot, close it up, let it slowly cool) they could only cook certain things in it.


  • I’ve always cooked on radiant electric (not induction) stoves, but gas stoves are amazing. Literal fire just works like nothing else. Faster cooking != Better cooking, why are you conflating them?

    I’ve never lived in a closed up efficient new house either, those seem like anything you cook would be problematic. All cooking releases something.

    Will almost certainly stick with electric personally (whole house is electric only) but if I had an unlimited budget it would be gas stove, big whomping vent fan, and ovens with both steam and fan.

    Induction worries me because we had an induction plate and it made a terrifying shrill noise, I worry that the high end ones do the same but we can’t hear it. Which seems awful for the dogs and cats.