Now you’ve convinced me! I really ought to have been the bigger man when my mom called me in the middle of the night to tell me that Trump’s a martyr like Jesus and that the Democrats are performing demonic baby-eating rituals inside underground tunnels, and just let her keep screaming about me being a brainwashed woke communist because we just have little differences and we all need to get along.

Haha, nope. I want scorched earth on every one of those conspiracy nut fuckers holding right-wing parties around the balls, since they went after my family with their brainrot. I don’t give a shit that a handful of people exist who don’t explicitly support Jewish Space Laser Marge or Venmo Bribes Clarence, because y’all still vote lock step to keep these crazy loons around because Roe v. Wade is worth killing for $300 extra on next year’s tax return.

Evernote (functional note-taking app), ReVanced (Youtube ads are a blight on civilization), My Boy! (Fire Emblem GBA series are my comfort games which get me through my bus commute. I would buy them on actual hardware if Nintendo didn’t make it such an obtuse PITA with limited-time subscriptions to induce artificial scarcity.)