I have a small WordPress site hosted in docker on a VM in my esxi server. It works well enough and if you use docker you can setup a docker image to auto update and restart containers as updates are deployed. But honestly, if you want something long term that you want people to access regularly and not expose yourself going third party may be your best bet.
I’ve never used SolarWinds patch manager, but after all of those breaches I’m very leery on any of their stuff. Another option to look into is manage engine patch manager plus. It can be a bit of a pain but it worked decently enough. Also, very cheap. Just don’t expect a super robust and deliable program