I once mistook a bag of Doritos for the president of the USA…no, wait…it was a bag of Cheetos…wait, no, actually it was one Cheeto, one GIGANTIC Cheeto (I think?!)

perfectly reasonable request from a stable brainiac pustulance!

“Mine is the only opinion that counts” -Judge Judy

First Amendment was the practice amendment to the US Constitution, so it doesn’t really count, ya know?

“nekkid terrorists…on bi-cycles!!!”

that’s so much more terrifying than a Portland resident in a frog costume dancing in front of a passel of cosplaying ICE thugs, isn’t it, Mike?

He would most definitely win the Nobel Sleaze Prize

Roy Cohn lives, unfortunately