He was white as a sheet

Is this a Firefly reference?

What if I’m not wearing pants?

Sir, this is a Wendy’s

No joke, I thought for a second you were referring to Infinite Solutions and were trolling hardcore. I haven’t thought about that in a long time.

sungloc.utus

My sex toy goes to a different school

It’s an odd position to be in; I work in the private sector but my company deals almost exclusively with government and NGO contracts, so at times I feel like I’m public sector.

What I’ve noticed is that even though the desired outcome is nearly identical for both sectors, the buzz words associated with each is what determines who responds to my job applications. As an example:

Private: IaC and Policy-as-Code, supply chain and software composition analysis, SAST, DAST, etc.

Public: Compliance automation, risk management frameworks, risk quantification (this one has generated a lot of excitement recently), etc.

This is purely anecdotal, but you may find adjusting your resume to include some of these buzzwords as applicable to the industry to which you are applying may help you get your foot in the door.

To reiterate, yes I know in the end all of these companies strive toward the same goals, whether it be passing audits or being able to demonstrate prudent security practices to clients, sometimes the hiring manager is looking for specific terminology and will discard any applications that exclude it.

Parents just don’t understand

One of my home servers was popped once, they stuck a new MOTD on there to let me know how foolish I was and I haven’t made that mistake since. So… yay greyhat?

For Chiefly reasons of course. Now whether or not that server is active in the cluster is another matter entirely, but hey if it makes him/her feel important /shrug

Figure ~45 minutes to run to the liquor store for a decent single malt, another ~25 minutes for the pizza rolls, quick power nap, wake up and redeploy. That’s about 2 hours.

Why doesn’t anyone ever think about the poor microbes?

A strong acid would do just as good a job without having to involve any lifeforms.

Unix is the kind of friend who won’t bat an eye about holding your beer while you go and do something incredibly stupid

I bought my first 3D printer to print a replacement worm gear in my Venetian blinds that I could have bought for like 30¢

Totally justified.

Many popular channels revised their content format as a direct consequence of the Wadsworth constant

If you want a net profit of $1000 you would need three subscriptions

What if Stevie Wonder is the only person around

Jesus Christ dude

This is a very interesting point that raises a lot of questions; does throwing something in the trash by definition relinquish my ownership? What if I throw something away by accident? Where is the demarcation between my owning something and WM taking ownership? Does it then pass on to whomever owns the landfill, or subsequently whoever might dig it out of the trash? You’ve done gone and wrinkled my brain for the weekend.