roflwaffle perchance

Every damn day reminds us that Sherman needed to make a second pass.

I can only dream of FireWire’s return

“They say you should only speak good of the dead. He’s dead. Good.”

“Swamp gas”

I’m honestly surprised they’re not being returned in a matchbox. But that wouldn’t give leverage.

When Nathan Fielder does it, it’s art.

My mother in law, a religious Walmart shopper and Qanon adherent, won’t stop bitching about her grocery bill. Fucked around, found out, still not getting a single neuron to fire across the gap. I think she’s just eating packs of crayons.

Pride, brought to you by Raytheon

I’ve heard similar about Trump. They keep the real one somewhere secret and put the shitty one out in public, because he couldn’t possibly be this bad, right? He’s still the great leader, just behind the scenes right? Guys? GUYS?

I just toss it in a lake so the fish can have internet.

It more so hurts the institution: international students pay that sweet full-rate tuition, room and board. Not that Harvard needs it necessarily, but it’ll be a hit.

You need to demonstrate this knowledge, along with how to properly roll a burrito, to graduate high school in California. I can personally attest.

You know, I was just— bbbrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I know one, but it’s a little complicated. The woman is named Ann, and this is because when she was adopted at birth, the adoptive parents named her after the biological mother, also Ann. So yes and no.

I’ll take a flat spin due to poor placement of a solid gold toilet with a heavy McDonald’s shit dropped in it

Those aren’t the only two terms in contention, unfortunately, because academics love a pissing contest. Middle fingers to the term I personally hate, “cosmodernism.”

Broasted

Got a lot of mileage out of this in high school when mp3 players had just kicked off.

Only took two tries to guess “BigBalls1488”