Low key this is why I’m happy I am an externalized. As I told my psychologist once years ago when I was going through a rough patch “it’s not that I want to kill myself. It’s that I want everyone else to die”
That said I’m not insane and clearly ain’t noone got the time and energy to kill the world nor is that a healthy thing to do. Lol
For what it’s worth, the times I’ve been closest to suicide I no longer expressed it as “I want to die” it was “I can’t live anymore”. I know it sounds pedantic but for me it’s a good indicator of when I’m having a bad depressive episode vs when I’m a suicide risk. Wanting to die means you still care enough to want something, if that make sense? When I can’t bring myself to care about life, death, my loved ones, anything at all, that’s when I need help asap. Everyone is different of course, I just thought it might be worth sharing in case someone reading this recognises that apathy in a loved one.
Low key this is why I’m happy I am an externalized. As I told my psychologist once years ago when I was going through a rough patch “it’s not that I want to kill myself. It’s that I want everyone else to die”
That said I’m not insane and clearly ain’t noone got the time and energy to kill the world nor is that a healthy thing to do. Lol
For what it’s worth, the times I’ve been closest to suicide I no longer expressed it as “I want to die” it was “I can’t live anymore”. I know it sounds pedantic but for me it’s a good indicator of when I’m having a bad depressive episode vs when I’m a suicide risk. Wanting to die means you still care enough to want something, if that make sense? When I can’t bring myself to care about life, death, my loved ones, anything at all, that’s when I need help asap. Everyone is different of course, I just thought it might be worth sharing in case someone reading this recognises that apathy in a loved one.
Well not with that attitude…