Workers who leave the head office to buy a cup of coffee are costing an Australian mining firm too much money, according to its boss.
Managing director of Mineral Resources Chris Ellison said during a financial results presentation on Wednesday he wants to “hold staff captive all day long”.
“I don’t want them leaving the building,” he said.
The head office in Perth has a restaurant, nine staff psychologists, a gym, and other facilities designed to encourage staff to stay in the office.
“We have a lot of different benefits that we have brought on,” said Mr Ellison, whose company has a strict “no work from home policy”.
"Why have I done that? Because when I get them first thing in the morning, I want to hold them captive all day long. I don’t want them leaving the building.
Ellison: grand wave of the hand y’know what this company needs? A place for our workers to live on site. We should build housing for them! The houses are our property and we can’t let them live there for free, so we need to charge them rent to cover ‘upkeep’. They will need food to eat so we should create a company store on site! We have to cover the costs of food, so we will have to charge them exorbitant prices due to ‘shipping’
“it would be far more efficient to create company scrip to pay them with, it’s not like they need anything we don’t provide right here.”
This way, if they decide to strike, they have no real money, and we can waive their scrip at a whim! This is a heavy deterrent to pesky strike action which really slows down production
Capital idea!
Why pay real money when they’re using it at our store? Just give them company scrips they can use right here on site!