never leave home without your lunchables

or your dinnerables, for that matter. not sure about breakfastables or second breakfastables though

so what was the job? if your boss had time to whip lunchmeat at moving vehicles… what was he paying you to do?

for some of us kids, it’s a bit easier to come by a slice of balogna than a pint of brake fluid. that said, I’ve known the many benefits of brake fluid since I was just a 12 year old dipshit in grade 7

YSK: I’ve known this since I was in middle school in 1987

dean cain is 60 now. I feel like that stupidass superman show he was in was just cancelled a few years ago. man, time sure flies when you’re clinically depressed

from another article, in which John Leguizamo and Margaret Cho rip on Cain:

Cain is also a longtime supporter of President Trump. “I love President Trump. I’ve been friends with him forever,” the actor told Variety last month. “Trump is actually one of the most empathetic, wonderful, generous people you’ll ever meet."

It’s official, this dude is a fucking moron and a sociopath

She controls his agenda. She sometimes takes decisions on his behalf.

… what exactly does “takes decisions on his behalf” mean? I’ve never “taken” someone else’s decision, afaik… but I don’t really know what that’s supposed to mean, so whatever

the answers to all your questions lie in the article you didn’t read

oh I get it, it’s because it says “your anus” omfg lolol it never gets old, so goddamn hilarious lol wow insane comedy lol holy shit hahaha… oh crap, my mom’s gonna be home in a few minutes and I was supposed to change my own diapers today… gotta go but I’m looking forward to the next middle-school comedy post

it’s not one really old otter going back to it’s hometown.

it is not one really old otter going back to it is hometown.

is what you just said.

isn’t this something everybody knows already? it’s been common knowledge since like, forever. even if you’re a middle school dropout, live in willful ignorance and never pick up a book or periodical, you’ll still accidentally learn this fact from TV and movies

it’s inspiring that in the states you can be a convicted felon, and/or just a totally unqualified moron with no experience in any sort of political office (see: POTUS) and get a high profile position in the federal government. america truly is the land of opportunity

The couple, Matthew Nannen, 45, and Bailee Crane, 58, allegedly climbed over a railing at Inspiration Point, which is situated along a high plateau at the top of the park’s Grand Staircase, according to the Garfield County Sheriff’s Office. The couple fell and were killed.

that part’s not super uplifting, but it’s definitely a miracle that their cat survived. I wonder if they were taking a selfie…

again?

(2011)

… oh. um, ok

if I see one more person name their pet after a food item I’m going to vomit blood

… come back to me, I can do better

I hope for their sake they put in a ball pit… and pulled Ronald and Grimace and Hamburglar out of retirement for the occasion

literal clickbait

yeah, the alternate timeline

god I wish we were there instead

in 1995 is used in be close to 10s,

what