I assume this meme was meant to be pronounced like Gal Gadot’s “Kal El, NO!”?

I usually preferred male PMs, solely because my contempt for their lack of technical knowledge was never mistaken for chauvinism. Women PMs who stayed in their lane – or even better were actually technically competent – were A-OK with me.

My good PMs understood that their role was to attend meetings and create a buffer between myself (who understood what had to be done and was doing most of the work) and the higher-ups. The awful PMs were the ones who thought they were running the show and driving everything.

I used to tell my bosses that everything would take three months. I would then ensure that everything took three months, usually by fucking off for two and a half months and then blasting something out in the last two weeks.

Prostate Manipulator

I used to work for (more accurately at since I was a contractor) a large cable company whose name rhymes with “bombast”. Most of the people in charge of the projects I was working on (usually vice-presidents, a thoroughly overblown title there since there were hundreds of vice-presidents) were hopelessly technically incompetent and/or bordering on clinically insane. For a refreshing change of pace, I occasionally had bosses who were just soulless and amoral. None of them lasted more than a few months before they were suddenly and without warning disappeared. One day you would come in to work and their office was emptied out and they were never mentioned ever again. I’d like to think they were just fired and escorted out, but I would not be surprised to find they were executed and rendered down for the fats they contained.

“Some say killin’s too good for him.”

It was Yes (“Going for the One”) for me. Led Zeppelin was for the burnouts!

I bought my first album in 1977 for $7, which is $37 in today’s money. It’s pretty insane to think that the entire music industry back then was about getting people to pay $37 for a piece of plastic. Avocado toast eat your heart out.

Bombast retired this app three years ago, so they at least realized they weren’t making any money off of it. It was always understood to be a loss leader of sorts, but I don’t think they were ever really fully aware that even its utility as a loss leader was being greatly exaggerated.

Bombast is strangely competent in a weird way. During my time there, I frequently worked under vice presidents (they have hundreds of these in their corporate structure) who ranged from grossly incompetent to clinically insane, but they were always disappeared within weeks of my being assigned to them. I assume they were fired and escorted out of the building immediately, but I wouldn’t entirely rule out murder.

Also strangely incompetent in weird ways. The founding Roberts died in 2015 and many people wore his signature bowtie to the corporate memorial service to honor him. The scuttlebutt was that everybody who wore a bowtie was fired shortly afterwards. I know for sure that this was the case with my own boss. I could never hope to explain why this was done.

I wrote a web app circa 2001 (Visual Basic 6 and Classic ASP) that is still in use. Unremarkable except that this app was a graphical UI front end atop a clunky mainframe app from the 1970s. The fact that my app is still running means this mainframe app is still running.

I had a gig lined up 20 years ago to write control software for steel-cutting robots at a gulf coast shipyard. I was super-excited about this and had visions of getting them all to dance in unison to The Blue Danube (after hours, of course). Then hurricanes Rita and Katrina hit and buried the robots under ten feet of mud, and that was the end of my robotics career. :(

I used to work for a major cable company whose name rhymes with “bombast”. Although working for them was kind of like working for Darth Vader, I did take some pride in the fact that our app had millions of daily users. Eventually I learned that essentially all of those daily users were faked and that nobody actually used the shit (and they only installed the app in the first place to get a discount on their cable bills). Then I was only able to take pride in the fact that we were essentially scamming the c-suite and the shareholders out of millions of dollars a year.

I worked from home for a few years. The Pornhub sessions would need to be edited out.

I always thought those old scratch-n-sniff books were a better analogy. Scratch my code and smell the shit.

That’s what’s always amused me about the “code re-use” imperative. I started my career with Visual Basic 3 – what good could anything I wrote back then possibly do me today?

I always liked “my body is a machine that turns childhood trauma into profits for the pharmaceutical industry.”

Same shit, different assholes.

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Maybe it makes sense like how private schools there are called “public schools” and public schools are called “private schools”. I will never understand that one.