But that’s not how averages work. We’d really be imagining the median person.

About one third of Americans are bringing the average stupidity way, way down.

Mike Birbiglia apparently turned it down, but didn’t make a big deal out of it.

There’s no way that Nate Bargatze and John Mulaney didn’t get offers. I have to assume they turned it down based on the fact they didn’t go.

I’m usually fine with paying more for things I enjoy that are worth it. Like $70 games are just not a big deal to me.

I’m also too lazy to cancel most things. I’ve ignored Game Pass price hikes before and justified them by thinking of all the games I played without buying.

But this one is just ridiculous. There’s no value here, no way for me to justify it. I was enjoying Silksong on Xbox because I didn’t have to buy it, but now that I do have to buy it I guess I’ll do that on my Switch instead. Replaying it is going to be rough, especially without my Elite controller.

I hope Microsoft gets their shit together, because Xbox has been my favorite game platform for years.

It just felt hard to relate to. The core premise is intriguing like I want to see where it goes, but it’s not intriguing like I feel personally invested in it.

Baldur’s Gate just had this perfect buildup, where you’re trying to solve a personal problem, and then it just keeps growing until you’re killing gods.

I’m not usually a fan of turn based games.

Baldur’s Gate 3 hooked me. It was one of my favorite gaming experiences ever. I played through it two and a half times, consecutively.

I couldn’t get through Expedition 33. It’s very well done, but the story itself never hooked me. It just felt too abstract, like it never got me emotionally invested.

And the gameplay was too narrow. I’m sure it opened up after a while, but it would still be the same kind of turn based combat the whole time.

It’s insanely good. At some point I want to make a post just about UFO 50, just to spread the word, but I don’t even know where to start.

Fifty is just an insane number of games, and so many of them are so god damn good.

Even now I want to be like, Porgy would be worth the cost on its own! But then I’m like, should I say Porgy or Avianos? Or Mini and Max? Or Grimstone? No, Rail Heist! Fuck it, I’m just going to go back to playing the damn thing.

I have three recommendations.

Split Fiction is a master class in game design. The split screen is so integrated into the experience that even online multiplayer is in split screen. The screens are a part of the story.

The gameplay is constantly changing to the point that discovering new mechanics becomes the gameplay loop.

The level designs are so clever that you’ll have several moments that feel scripted but were actually just inevitable because of how we play games.

To give a snapshot of the experience: there was one scene where my character was driving a motorcycle along the sides of skyscrapers, doing the craziest stunts imaginable, and my wife’s character was sitting on the back frantically trying to solve a series of CAPTCHAs on her phone. She was so focused on keeping a steady hand that she barely noticed the death-defying stunts happening literally out of the corner of her eye.

By the end of it I was like, “Did you see that??” and it turns out she did not. It was absurd and hilarious, and it’s the kind of storytelling that only works in a video game.

My current obsession is UFO 50, which is a collection of 50 “retro” games. In real life they’re all new, but the story of the game is that they’re from a company from the 80s called UFOsoft, and then there’s a dark meta narrative hidden in the background.

Which is all just a framing device for 50 games, most of which are good, some of which are amazing, and half of which are couch co-op multiplayer. It’s like exploring the Switch’s retro NES collection for hidden gems, except there’s a lot more gems.

There are beat 'em ups, obscure sports games, some platformers, tactics games, a little bit of everything.

I’ve enlisted my wife to help me, because a lot of these games are just begging to be grinded out in co-op.

I got the game when I saw someone describe it as “a master class in game design”, and I thought, “that’s the phrase I’ve just been using to describe Split Fiction.”

And finally, I recommend Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime, because that’s the multiplayer game I’ve been recommending for almost ten years.

You each play as adorable creatures in an adorable space ship that you customize as you go. The ship has several stations that need to be manned, including the captain’s seat, navigation, a directional shield, and multiple weapons.

But you each can only man one station at a time. So if you need to stay on the shield but a new enemy is approaching from the other side, then that means the captain is going to have to jump on a weapon and leave the ship adrift.

You may have arguments over which type of weapons to add to your ship or over who’s better at piloting which kind of engine. Or maybe you’ll work together in perfect harmony, relying on each other’s strengths and covering each other’s weaknesses as you adapt to every new challenge. Both ways are fun.

Also great for up to 4 players.

I assumed my kids would love games, but they’re just not that interested. I got my six-year-old obsessing over one of the UFO 50 games, at least until she couldn’t progress any further, but for the most part toys are just way more exciting.

But that’s what he’s doing. He’s being a “good” queer, which means he’s publicly denying it. That’s the kind of homosexual they tolerate: the one who’s ashamed of it.

The high cost is an issue, but I don’t know what you’re talking about with declining quality. It’s still fantastic quality.

The plastic used to make Lego is a byproduct of fossil fuels. It won’t stop being added to the environment until we get off of fossil fuels. It’s not like Lego is digging up oil just to make toys.

They’re also actively searching for renewable plastic alternatives. Like, it’s a huge initiative for them.

In the meantime they just recently started a recycling program where they buy back old bricks, with the stated purpose being their concern for what happens to the plastic when it’s no longer being used.

If you’re looking for a toy company that’s conscientious about their impact on the environment, you’d have a hard time finding better than Lego.

This isn’t a great look, but calling Lego “evil” is a bit of a stretch. This was one report that has no bearing on how they run their company or how they interact with their customers.

They still support and promote diversity in their products, which is where it matters.

Phantasy Star Online: Episodes I & II

What the hell was it about that game? There was just something addictive. I barely even played it online, but I could just sink hours into it.

That’s fair. I guess what I’m saying is that describing it as “an RPG” doesn’t do nearly enough to convey what the game actually is. Like I can see the argument to say Elden Ring is an RPG, because it definitely has RPG elements, but you’d never describe it as an RPG without also mentioning that it’s an action game. You also wouldn’t describe Expedition 33 without mentioning that it’s a turn-based RPG.

In the same way, I find it misleading to label Disco Elysium as an RPG without mentioning that it’s an adventure game. It’s at least as much of an adventure game as it is an RPG, and most importantly: it lacks combat. Combat isn’t necessarily a requirement of the genre, but if you asked a random gamer to name 10 RPGs, he’d either name 10 games with combat systems, or he’d name 9 games with combat and Disco Elysium.

I think the problem is that it kind of isn’t an RPG.

It’s an adventure game with heavy RPG elements. Like the core gameplay clearly resembles old point and click adventure games. It’s just the experience and leveling system are also so central to the gameplay that it wouldn’t work without also being an RPG.

when actual rates of childhood abduction and abuse are at historic lows.

So you’re saying that parents are more cautious than ever, and childhood abduction rates are at an all time low, and you don’t think maybe those two things are related?

Do you also think we should stop vaccinations when the diseases they protect against are at historic lows?

Besides which, the overall rate of child abductions only matters if we’re talking about the measures that society should take.

On a personal level, if my child got abducted and I didn’t do everything in my power to prevent that, I doubt I’d be comforted by the knowledge that it was extremely unlikely to have happened. I wouldn’t walk into my child’s empty bedroom and say to my grieving wife, “Man, what were the odds?”

I don’t want to actively track their every move because I’m not a psycho, but there’s no downside to giving myself the ability to find them in an emergency.

“It says his left shoe is supposed to be here, but all I see is his right shoe! How is this possible!?”

The second one is the third highest grossing movie of all time. So clearly some people wanted more.

I don’t understand the appeal of Avatar. I really don’t. The writing is beyond lazy, and while the visuals may be impressive or whatever, the things they’re depicting just look weird and unappealing to me.

But even I can’t pretend that its success is only due to hype. There are plenty of successful movies that don’t deserve their success, but you don’t get as successful as Avatar without giving the audience something. People aren’t that dumb.

Ah, but before Avatar came along it was never quite so poorly written!