Why YSK: A proper tire has the tire label centered over the valve to make the valve easy to spot, and for balanced aesthetics.

When quick release wheel skewers were first invented, it was reported that some less reputable racers were reaching down and opening the quick release of competitors during races. While extremely unlikely, it is possible to have debris open a lever while riding. For both reasons it is best practice to protect your QR levers by closing them in a position near the bike fork and rear seat stay where it is harder to get behind to open the lever.

The rear drivetrain dictates that the rear QR lever should be on the non drive side. However, on the front, the lever is considered more aesthetic and should be on the drive side as this is considered the photogenic presentation side.

…I worked in a bike shop far too many years…

Everyone in a shop notices these things the second you walk in with a bike, as will most racers and hardcore riders. No one is judging you by this trivial nonsense, it is more like hearing someone’s accent and knowing where they are from. It is also noting how safe it likely is to ride near you at speed.