Elaine: “Ugh, total bust! We spent the whole time arguing about calamari!”
Jerry: “Arguing about calamari? Like fried squid?”
Elaine gestures there you go
George: “It’s deep fried, what’s not to like?”
Elaine: “He doesn’t even know what it is!”
Jerry: “Never had calamari? What a sad life…”
Kramer enters. Applause.
Elaine: “Kramer. What’s calamari?”
Kramer: “Disgusting. That’s what it is.”
Jerry: “We’re not talking about the same calamari here.”
Kramer: “It’s like chewing on rubber bands!”
Jerry: “You’re not still going to Bosco’s are you?”
Kramer: “I like Bosco.”
George: “Didn’t the health board shut them down?”
Kramer: “That’s how you know it’s authentic.”
Elaine: “Can we get back to my problem, please?”
Jerry: “I’ll tell you what, let’s all go out. Elaine, you can bring you can bring your boyfriend. I’ll show you all what calamari is supposed to taste like.”
Elaine: “Well, do the have caviar?”
Jerry: “Caviar? What am I made of money? Why caviar?”
Elaine: “That’s what he thinks calamari is!”
George: “Did you correct him?”
Elaine: “Yes, George, I corrected him. I corrected him for 45 minutes!”
Kramer: “Well why didn’t you just order the calamari and show him?”
Elaine: “We were at a coffee shop.”
Kramer: “Oh, they don’t serve calamari at coffee shops.”
Elaine: “…I know. I didn’t expect to have to defend the reality of what calamari is when we made the date.”
What is this, a Seinfeld episode?
Jerry: “How’d the date go last night?”
Elaine: “Ugh, total bust! We spent the whole time arguing about calamari!”
Jerry: “Arguing about calamari? Like fried squid?”
Elaine gestures there you go
George: “It’s deep fried, what’s not to like?”
Elaine: “He doesn’t even know what it is!”
Jerry: “Never had calamari? What a sad life…”
Kramer enters. Applause.
Elaine: “Kramer. What’s calamari?”
Kramer: “Disgusting. That’s what it is.”
Jerry: “We’re not talking about the same calamari here.”
Kramer: “It’s like chewing on rubber bands!”
Jerry: “You’re not still going to Bosco’s are you?”
Kramer: “I like Bosco.”
George: “Didn’t the health board shut them down?”
Kramer: “That’s how you know it’s authentic.”
Elaine: “Can we get back to my problem, please?”
Jerry: “I’ll tell you what, let’s all go out. Elaine, you can bring you can bring your boyfriend. I’ll show you all what calamari is supposed to taste like.”
Elaine: “Well, do the have caviar?”
Jerry: “Caviar? What am I made of money? Why caviar?”
Elaine: “That’s what he thinks calamari is!”
George: “Did you correct him?”
Elaine: “Yes, George, I corrected him. I corrected him for 45 minutes!”
Kramer: “Well why didn’t you just order the calamari and show him?”
Elaine: “We were at a coffee shop.”
Kramer: “Oh, they don’t serve calamari at coffee shops.”
Elaine: “…I know. I didn’t expect to have to defend the reality of what calamari is when we made the date.”
George: “Didn’t the health board shut them down?”
Kramer: “That’s how you know it’s authentic.”
I’ve had this conversation
I can hear them. This is great
Were you a writer for the show, what the fuck, this is so accurate
It’s shockingly easy. There was a whole reddit subreddit dedicated to inventing new Seinfeld scripts
I’ve only ever seen a couple of episodes and I was shocked at how well this script fit what I’ve seen.
I’ve only ever seen a few episodes but I don’t know how accurate this is at all.
Damn. Bravo!