What is this, a Seinfeld episode?
Jerry: “How’d the date go last night?”
Elaine: “Ugh, total bust! We spent the whole time arguing about calamari!”
Jerry: “Arguing about calamari? Like fried squid?”
Elaine gestures there you go
George: “It’s deep fried, what’s not to like?”
Elaine: “He doesn’t even know what it is!”
Jerry: “Never had calamari? What a sad life…”
Kramer enters. Applause.
Elaine: “Kramer. What’s calamari?”
Kramer: “Disgusting. That’s what it is.”
Jerry: “We’re not talking about the same calamari here.”
Kramer: “It’s like chewing on rubber bands!”
Jerry: “You’re not still going to Bosco’s are you?”
Kramer: “I like Bosco.”
George: “Didn’t the health board shut them down?”
Kramer: “That’s how you know it’s authentic.”
Elaine: “Can we get back to my problem, please?”
Jerry: “I’ll tell you what, let’s all go out. Elaine, you can bring you can bring your boyfriend. I’ll show you all what calamari is supposed to taste like.”
Elaine: “Well, do the have caviar?”
Jerry: “Caviar? What am I made of money? Why caviar?”
Elaine: “That’s what he thinks calamari is!”
George: “Did you correct him?”
Elaine: “Yes, George, I corrected him. I corrected him for 45 minutes!”
Kramer: “Well why didn’t you just order the calamari and show him?”
Elaine: “We were at a coffee shop.”
Kramer: “Oh, they don’t serve calamari at coffee shops.”
Elaine: “…I know. I didn’t expect to have to defend the reality of what calamari is when we made the date.”
George: “Didn’t the health board shut them down?”
Kramer: “That’s how you know it’s authentic.”
I’ve had this conversation
I can hear them. This is great
Were you a writer for the show, what the fuck, this is so accurate
It’s shockingly easy. There was a whole reddit subreddit dedicated to inventing new Seinfeld scripts
I’ve only ever seen a couple of episodes and I was shocked at how well this script fit what I’ve seen.
Damn. Bravo!
An ex and I were on a bus trip to a city about an hour away from where we lived while we taught English in Korea. The subject of there being a “subway” in said city came up randomly. She said she thought she had seen one the last time she was there. I had been there more times than she had and said there was no subway. She doubled down. No, she was quite sure she had seen one near the university. I doubled down, I’ve been there quite a few times. There’s no way they have a subway. It’s not even big enough for one! It got pretty heated. This went on for some time. Feelings were hurt.
She was talking about the sandwich restaurant, and I was talking about underground trains. We were both right.
Maybe man’s Estonian. Caviar in Estonian is “kalamari” which means fishberry
Seen something like this before. Guy was testing his date to see if she would correct him and she would fail if she did.
Sounds like the guy was doing them a favor helping them dodge a bullet.
I remember reading Ron DeSantis (governor of Florida) said he did this on dates. He would say Thigh Food for Thai food. If they corrected him he wouldn’t date them again.
He’s married now and I wonder if his wife ever offers to pick up Thigh food for dinner.
I do love some thigh food. The nectar of the gods.
I also love how he does the red flag ass version of this. He must be right. Not like playing mental games is ever great, but nothing more nail on the head than a Republican looking for subservience and weak will.
Now we need to know what OP thinks calamari and caviar are. It could be a 6’ situation where guys invite girls to caviar but order calamari. First hint is that she uses singular for calamari.
Nice of him to get the red flags out on the table early though!
Calamari is a red flag? People can be wrong…
His one visible mistake is not backing down when confronted with a different opinion and re-evaluating.
His one visible mistake is not backing down when confronted with a different opinion and re-evaluating.
Refusing to back down is the red flag, yes
“The only red flag was the red flag”
“People need to be perfect at all times and can’t make mistakes”
Hey dude this is for you 🚩
Mistakes are fine, it’s how you handle them. Instead of saying, “huh, I’m not sure if you’re right or not; let’s look it up, or just move on” he decided to adamantly defend his (incorrect) position.
Kinda like what you’re doing! Hahey!
Somehow you’re the dumb asshole on two of the last two threads I read (the other one being about appropriate songs on a hiking trail). Impressive.
Oh wow, I had to scroll quite a way to find a comment that wasn’t in the negative.
You’re so fucking superficial that you can’t understand that people make mistakes, that goes for me and it goes for the guy being called a “red flag” on this post. Your levels of empathy would make Trump look kind. 🤡
Facts and opinions are two different things.
Facts are all opinions until researched and confirmed. If you have two people arguing, there is no “more right” or “wrong” because it’s just two voices against each other.
Your “facts” don’t exist until proved.
Facts exist outside of you. Facts are already confirmed/researched and we just call upon them in conversation.
If an argument is based around a fact, there is indeed a right and wrong side. The accuracy of your recall of a given fact is the meaure of rightness in the argument.
If you can’t empathize with someone not having all the information in a conversation and hence arguing from a place of incomplete information, you’re definitely not someone worth spending any amount of time with…
Maybe you should back down and re-evaluate
Says the person fighting for the last word?
How did you get that from what I said?
Here lemme flip the script on you. If you can’t listen to someone and absorb information without immediately conjuring negative assumptions about them, you might not be fun to be with either.
The point was that facts are facts. The fact that calamari is not caviar is not malleable (unless you’re in Estonia I suppose lol). It’s just a cold hard fact that outside of Estonia they’re two completely different things. In this situation there is no spectrum of rightness. You’re just either right or you’re wrong.
I’m not saying that its worth dying on the calamari hill in public. Handle that debate however you see fit.
Someone’s words are not more truthful than another person’s. The only reason you see the calamari thing as fact is because you have the bigger picture.
Your lack of empathy, ergo, putting yourself in the shoes of someone with a certain conviction, is a red flag.
If you can’t realise that the dude’s opinion is worth the same as the girl’s within their conversation, then you lack critical thinking skills.
If he says A and she says B, only an outside observer can determine whether he or she is right.
I’m sorry but if you can’t grasp this simple concept there’s no point taking to you anymore, and you come across as extremely arrogant.
Reminds me of that 4chan post where anon gets stopped by a stranger who tries to explain that Aluminum is the best metal. Anon tries to stay calm and explain the iron is the best metal, but the guy just kept going off about Aluminum and started talking about rust and ruined Anon’s whole day.
Aluminum is a weird choice because it’s almost always alloyed with other metals.
The concept of “best metal” without specifying for which purpose is pretty ridiculous, so to me the anon in your story is equally guilty of causing his own bad day.
Well, no.
The best metal is obviously bismuth:
This is the most fabulous metal
I was going to go with Iron Maiden, but Bismuth is pretty metal.
I prefer metal of the Swedish Melodic variety.
Especially because the answer is obviously Tin
I beg to differ
Real tin-stans would call it antimony
stranger is correct, aluminum is extremely strong and flexible
Brittle though
I’ve been the side guy in a similar date in a bar. But instead of calamari is fish eggs. The dudes deeply held belief was the flat earth lie.
If you need to Well, actually… on your first date, all your dates will be firsts!
Well actually, any subsequent dates wouldn’t be my first ever date /s
Keep this up and we’ll upgrade you to having 0 dates.
So your first date will be all of your dates (just the one), thus all your dates (singular) are firsts.
You’ve just catapulted into the territory of square-root of negative 1 dates.
