• Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    You have been found in violation of the following political pre-crime:

    • Applying logic, reason, and/or critical thought to a claim made by god-emperor Trump.

    Your online activity is under review by the Defense Information Coalition to Keep Bitcoin Under Tactical Trade (DICKBUTT) agency. A recommendation will be provided shortly by Grok regarding the severity/lethality of action that will be taken against you. Please stand by for a final decision.

    You may mitigate these charges by committing to a monthly one thousand ($1,000) dollar donation to the Trump campaign or affiliated parties to include Vladimir Putin, Benjamin Netanyahu, Kim Jong Un, or any local chapter of the Ku Klux Klan, Proud Boys, or Fox News.

    Smaller infractions may be rectified by meeting a daily quota of telling slurs to minorities in person, over the phone, or on your preferred online social media platform.

    Thank you for your cooperation,

    In Jesus’ name, amen.